What! Laws in the land of lawlessness?!
Prostitution is illegal.
That's right! If you find
yourself giving that hot chick some cash for showing you the
"sin" in Sin City, you better hope you have some left over to
bail yourself out of jail. And if we're gonna be honest here,
which is what I'm all about, real hookers are pretty skanky,
they do not look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
So here's the thing, if a skanky chick approaches you and asks
if you'd like some company, run the other way. If some hot
chick approaches you and asks if you want some company, she's
probably an undercover cop, so run the other way. And if you're
looking for some company, don't ask me because you can't afford
this booty! And after I turn you down, don't ask me where else
you can find some company because it is illegal for me to give
you that information, not that I would know. You're very likely
to hear me say, "I have no idea what you're talking about, but I
can have security come over and discuss it with you." "What
about the Chicken Ranch (or the Bunny Ranch, or any other
ranch)?" you ask. Prostitution is illegal in Clark County,
which is where Las Vegas is. Prostitution is legal in
Nye County, where all those houses of ill-repute are. I have no
idea how to get there, so don't e-mail me for directions!
Drinking on the street
OK, I've been corrected.
According to Steve Easley, who teaches an alcohol awareness
class, it is legal to have an open container on the strip
corridor and downtown. The strip corridor is on Las Vegas
Blvd. between Russell Rd. and Sahara Ave.
Drinking and driving is
This one almost seems like
common sense, but a surprising number of people think it's OK.
Drinking and driving or having an open container in your car is
illegal, just like in any other state. The Blood Alcohol
Concentration level for Las Vegas is .08.
Cell phones are
prohibited in or near the race and sports books.
This also means no
walkie-talkies, computers, hand signals, or anything else that
either gives you communication to the outside, or can be seen as
suspicious communication. So if your Aunt Mary calls from
Tennessee just to see how you're enjoying Vegas, don't take it
personally when a security guard asks you to leave. People use
cell phones to make bets for other people or to check the lines,
both which are against the law.
You are also not allowed
to use a cell phone at a blackjack table. Most casinos will
allow you to just step back from the table and use it.
Kids are not allowed to
hang out with you while you drink or gamble.
If you can't find someone
to watch your kids, stay home with them. That's the
responsibility that comes with being a parent. It is illegal
for someone under 21 to loiter where there is gaming or alcohol
being served. That means they can't come to the bar with you
while you buy a Coke, they can't stand in line with you at the
change booth while you buy a roll of quarters, and they can't
sit at a slot machine while you play. And as long as a minor is
with you, employees are not allowed to serve you. If you're
sitting in the Keno lounge with your kid, I can't even bring you
a glass of water. And you are not allowed to make your kids
stand in a corner while you finish playing your hand or drink
your beer. You must be with your kids at all times.
So where are kids allowed
to go? Arcades, water parks, restaurants, stores, and all
non-gaming or non-alcoholic drinking places. Kids are allowed
in restaurants that serve alcohol as long as entrees are also
served (as opposed to just appetizers). They are not allowed to
sit with you in a lounge while you enjoy your beer. If the
cocktail waitress asks you to leave, please don't give her an
attitude. It is the law, and she is required by law to ask you
to leave. If she doesn't, she may actually be fired for not
doing her job.
Video cameras, and
sometimes still cameras, are not allowed to be used inside the
Video cameras have always
been prohibited. This is not a law, but I don't know any casino
that allows it. The main reason is to protect people's
privacies. As they say, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Also, for security reasons. You may just want a memento of your
family's Vegas trip, but there are some who want to get a layout
of the casino. And as always, the casinos are looking for
cheating, and video cameras are suspicious tools. As far as
taking pictures, each casino has its own policy, but more and
more are banning them too. The reasons are the same. Homeland
security is a big concern, so don't be surprised if you are told
to put away your camera. Sometimes commercials, news
broadcasts, and movies are filmed inside the casinos, but these
people have special permits and insurance, which make them
exempt from these rules.
Cab drivers are not
allowed to pick up or drop off customers on the street.
Have you ever tried to
wave down a taxi, only to have the driver wave back and drive
right past you? No, it's not because you're black, it's because
it is illegal for them to pick you up (or drop you off) unless you are at a
designated taxi stop, like at a hotel or the airport. Every
once in awhile you'll see one break the law, but it's rare. So
next time don't waste half your vacation spending hours standing
on the sidewalk, frustrated and cussing at every taxi that
Pedestrians do not
always have the right of way.
Las Vegas is the 11th most
dangerous city for pedestrians (I'm surprised it's not the
first!), with the top five most dangerous intersections being on
The Strip. With tourists, cabs, impatient employees, and drunk
drivers, it's not surprising pedestrians get hurt or killed on a
regular basis. A lot of times, it's the pedestrian's fault.
People walk against the light, especially when there is a group
of people, feeling there is safety in numbers. A lot of people
jaywalk, which is the stupidest thing to do. Some people just
don't pay attention because they're looking around at all the
buildings, especially at night when the city is most beautiful
with all the lights. The walkways over The Strip at the most
popular intersections have helped a lot, but people still manage
to get themselves killed. So next time you're walking around
and you see something across the street that you just have to
get to right away, think twice. You may not only get killed
making a dash for it, but your family won't get compensated for
your stupidity either.
Green light go, red
light stop, and other traffic laws.
I know what it's like to
be a clueless tourist, and sometimes that means driving like an
idiot. You don't know where you're going, the signs are
confusing, and you have so many distractions around you. That's
why it's even more important to pay attention. When the light
turns red, stop. When it turns green, go. If you're at a red
light in the far right lane and discover that you're supposed to
be in the far left turning lane, don't put on your blinker and
try to make it across three lanes, blocking traffic. Just go
straight and either go around the block, or make a U-turn at the
next street. Go with the flow of traffic; don't put your brakes
on every few seconds to point and ooh and ahh at every building.
It is legal to turn right
at a red light unless there is a red arrow. You
have to stop and wait for a green arrow before you can go. I've
seen cars run these because it is frustrating to have to wait
for the green light when it's such a habit to turn if no traffic
is coming. Most people are so used to turning on a red that
they don't pay attention to the signs that say "No Turn On Red,"
and they'll either go, or if they're behind another car, they'll
honk at them to go. I see people do this every single day as
I'm driving to and from work. If you do run this light, you
will get a ticket if you're caught. And you may get killed too,
because there are a lot of blind intersections.
Vegas is on Pacific
My sister, who lives in
Los Angeles and has been to Vegas hundreds of times, still asks
me, "What time is it over there?" I really, really want to
And yes, we do follow that
damn daylight saving time crap.
There are no clocks or
drinking fountains in a casino.
The last thing a casino
wants is for people to say, "Oh, gotta go!" So wear your
watch. Also, there are no drinking fountains, so you'll have to
get a water from a cocktail waitress or from a bar, or buy a
in a gift shop.
Objects in the mirror
are farther than they appear.
You're standing in front
of the Mirage, looking around, then suddenly spot the pyramid
and say, "Hey, there's Luxor, let's go!" An hour and a
half later you're soaking wet from walking in the 120° heat,
your face is red and peeling off, your throat feels like burning
charcoal, and your wife wants to kick your ass but lucky for you
her legs have no strength left. Don't be fooled.
Walk if you must, just be prepared.
Vegas is open 24 hours
There is no last call in
Vegas. You can drink and gamble 24 hours a day, every day of
the year. Sometimes at four or five in the morning you may walk
through a casino and see no one gambling and the lounges and
bars closed, so you may think, "Is this place open?" The answer
is yes. Usually during the "graveyard" hours only one or two
bars are open, and a few table games. But all the slot machines
are available (unless they're working on them or doing a slot
drop) and cocktails are still served. However, this does not
mean that there isn't a curfew for minors. If you are under 18,
the curfew is 10 PM Sunday-Thursday, and midnight Friday and
Saturday, unless you're accompanied by an adult.